In other news, I had a rather unfortunate and unsettling incident on the bus yesterday. I started off this week on top of the world. I didn't tell you before, but at the ballet on Sunday night, I met a boy. I really like him. He's cute and smart and really, really nice. We made plans to go to the opera together this coming Saturday. And we might bake a pumpkin pie together for American Thanksgiving (even though it's not Thanksgiving for me). I was so excited about meeting this awesome guy, I felt nothing could ruin my good spirits this week. Nothing whatsoever. I was wrong. Yesterday, I was assaulted on the bus. For doing nothing at all. I was sitting there, just minding my own business, when this crazy rabid bitch (a person, not a dog) attacked me. She punched me in the face (she had a wimpy punch, though, so it didn't hurt), kicked me in the legs (again, she had a rather wimpy kick, so it was ok), and then she grabbed handfuls of my hair and pulled as hard as she could (that /did/ hurt). Then, she starts bashing my head against the wall in the bus. She had my head down and she was pulling my hair, so it was hard for me to put my head up to see, but I tried to hit her back anyway (I mean, I had to protect myself). Finally, at last, I managed to grab on to a handful of her hair, and I think I was actually just about to get the upper hand when two people got in between us. Funny how when she was kicking the shit out of me, none of the Mongolians on the bus got up to help, but when I started to fight back, there were immediately two guys in between us. She is a lucky bitch. At the risk of making myself sound like a crazy bitch, I wanted to pummel her. I wanted to pummel her face over and over and over again. I wanted to beat that bitch black and blue. I wanted to knock her down and kick her senseless. I did muay thai for three years, and I believe I would have been capable of this. Never in my life have I ever wanted to beat someone up as badly as I wanted to beat her up (I have actually never ever until yesterday even remotely had the desire to even slap a stranger, but when you're attacked out of nowhere for nothing, it makes you want to fight back). She is extremly lucky I didn't fight back (much). She's lucky that the only fighting back I did was in the interest of defending myself. She's lucky that I did not fight back in the interest of defending myself and of hurting her. She's just incredibly lucky, that's all I can say. I don't know how I held myself back (I could have gotten past those two guys in between us), but I did, and I guess that makes me a better person.
As I'm typing this, I'm reminded about the incident a few summers ago on the Greyhound bus in Canada. I guess I'm lucky the crazy bitch didn't have any knives or guns on her, or else things might have been much, much worse. As it is, my hair is considerably thinner today than it was yesterday (yesterday, after the incident, as I ran my fingers through my hair, I was also pulling out handfuls and handfuls of hair), and my neck and shoulders are killing me, but other than that, I am fine. I need a hug. I need someone to hug me while I cry. But I'll be fine. It doesn't make me think too much of Mongolians right now. When I look at my colleagues or my students, I try to remind myself that they are not the same as the girl on the bus, that the bus incident is an isolated incident, that the people who are normally around me are good people. Still, I can't help feeling that when my contract finishes, I will be out of here so fucking fast, they'll never see me go, and I never plan on looking back. The only thing that is getting me through this week now is how much I'm looking forward to seeing the boy this weekend.
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